or more simply How I got to be where I am today. 

Boy where do I start! I left England in the Summer of 1979 (just turned 17) after I had completed my 'A' levels and pretty much everyone, including me knew that I wasn't at the maturity level needed to attend University/College right away, so I was going to have a year off... I bought "the Lady" magazine, looked through all the "aupair wanted" ads and sent off my "letter" to about 15 or so prospects... None of them panned out, so it was decided that I should go to the South of France (Perigueux) for a year first, staying with friends of relatives (Mum's side, her Dad was French) who had 4 girls aged 11, 10, 4 and 2 and lived on a farm that produced "Pate de Fois Gras" and also had 500 geese!!... but that's another story that I don't think I will go into for now!! It was a fabulous year in some aspects and very painful for me in others, Maybe one day I will tell that tale too!!  (You can now read my testimony that includes what happened in France HERE)  I came back from France in the Summer of 1980, enjoying being home and all the preparations for my older sister's wedding (Aug 1980) I was also preparing to go to University/College but was then handed another "Chance of a Lifetime" One lady (SD) had kept my letter to her from the year before (she'd got it too late, having hired someone already, but was impressed by the letter and so kept it) and now wanted to see if I was still available and wanted to come and be an "aupair" this year ? The one she had hired the year before had now returned to England (so she told me!!) ....and so I took it!! SD said that if I could get my visa and stuff all sorted out and issued in less than a week, I could come out immediately and go with them on their summer family holiday touring up the East Coast of USA, but if I couldn't, then I would have to wait for 6wks until after they got back. Fortunately My Mum was working at Manchester Medical University as assistant to a Professor in the Pharmacology Dept and so had an edge!! We got my needed visa in *2* days!! I rang up SD and said "Guess what, I have my visa and my ticket, I'll be arriving at Miami airport at 3am the day after tomorrow" There was silence for about a nanosecond (as she was no doubt thinking "How the HECK did she get a visa so quickly, I wasn't expecting her to come here until November" !!) and she replied "Great! my hubby J**** (JD) will pick you up - see you then, oh what do you look like?" Mad frantic packing and arrangements ensue "chez the Sillavan household" - putting off all my University plans/registrations (again!!) but in just 2 short days, I was ready and set off........... I'll *NEVER* forget my first impression of America (well Florida really) - JD met me at the airport, no probs, and we stepped out of the lovely air conditioned airport into the most intense humid sauna like heat I had ever experienced!!! - I thought to myself, "Good grief it's *3am* in the middle of the night and dark outside how *CAN* it be this hot ?" Feb 17th 2003 - Gosh I REALLY should finish this someday!! OK, so now it's Aug 10th 2004 - where were we? At the beginning it was OK, since we only had a whirlwind 3-4 days before we for a long (5-6 wk) summer road trip all the way up the east coast of America visiting and staying with people or at hotels on the way. We only took one of the *5* Siberian Huskies they had with us (phew!) but since they had a big 'conversion van' there was plenty of room for the 5 of us. JD, SD and JD-jr (13mths old) up front and me and the dog in the back! That trip was actually fun, met a lot of COOL neato people, including staying with the famous Roland 'Doc' Lombard - THAT was fun - he had over 80 dogs!! Then we got back to their house. Things got progressively worse, this was basically because they were SLOBS. Despite being an Architect and a Lawyer, they were rather unsanitary and so my 'duties' which were meant to be ONLY "take care of the baby and your needs" turned into (by necessity, I couldn't BEAR to see the filth) me working from about 6am till about 10pm 5 days a week for $40. On top of that I had to share the bedroom with the baby (yes a noisy snuffler and I am the lightest sleeper in the world, just ask my husband!) My only saving grace was Lisa. Lisa was the baby-sitter they had (local girl) between when the previous English "au pair" Alison had RUN AWAY and when I got there. But they still employed her to come on the weekends (my 2 'days off' ) to watch JD-jr (Gosh you'd have thought that after 14 yrs of marriage and finally having a baby they'd want to so SOME raising of the kid) Since I had NOWHERE (or no way) to go on my 'days off' I stayed and talked to Lisa, while we both played and entertained the little boy, who's parents were either asleep or off somewhere. I really looked forward to her coming and we became really good friends. Eventually Lisa told SD that she couldn't baby-sit on the weekends anymore (so they got another one, but I never really knew or met her) and Lisa would come and get me on Friday night and take me to HER house for the weekend, bringing me back very late Sunday night or early Monday morning on her way to college. (this did NOT go down well with SD at all, oh well !) Finally I had something to live for, the weekends, they were a BLAST. I learnt how to 'clog' FINALLY saw Miami, the BEACHES and all the cool things in S. Florida that an 18yr old (Lisa was 18 too) would want to see and do! Coming 'home' after the weekend was AWFUL, I'd walk into the house to see 3 days worth of dishes piled up high in the sink (as well as strewn about the house - I once found a pot of brown, rotting sour cream IN her laundry hamper - YUK) but the worst was the 'piles' of dog poo throughout the house. NONE of the 6 dogs (they also had an OLD, decrepit smelly small dog as well as the 5 Siberians) were thoroughly house trained. Most of the time they were kept in their pens in the garage (thankfully air-conditioned) but they must have let them in on the weekends to be with them and NEVER cleaned up after them - PEE YEW! But as bad as 'returning' was, it was worth it for the weekends! This 'weekend ritual' went on for about 4 mths, as the '6mth negotiation phase' was fast approaching. See when I had arrived, we'd had a 'contract' that after 6 mths we would 'assess' the situation, I'd get paid for the flight over here, and if I was to stay another 6 mths, then I'd get the money to fly back to UK as well. OK, so SD must have assumed (all on her todd, wow wonder if is was because the previous girl had RUN AWAY after 3 months!) that I would NOT want to stay on another 6 mths. BUT she had my Visa and Passport and her office (SD had had to extend it from the 6 wk Tourist visa I'd had when I landed and had never returned it.) Any time I mentioned it, SD would say, "Yes I'll bring it home" but never did. Then SD started to try and use 'strong arm' tactics against me. I'm a lawyer, I could have you deported, etc. Basically trying to scare me into staying (she knew she had a good thing going, a slave for $40 a week) As all this was going on, naturally I told Lisa about it, who told her Mum Sheila, who got more and more incensed at how they were treating me. Finally, I was SO miserable, my parents were about to arrive in Miami to visit me and to go on a cruise. Lisa said she'd had enough, her Mum had contacted a lawyer she knew and it was a felony to 'keep' my passport/visa against my wishes. That I was to pack up ALL my stuff, she was coming to pick me up. WOW - I started throwing all my stuff in my case (didn't have much!) and 20 mins later the doorbell rang. I came out of the room carrying my case and went to the door. SD came out of her room to see what was going on and realized what was happening. With a face like stone SD said, "Well if you're running away then give me back my house key now" For an instant (maybe it was due to the fact that Jim, a 350 lb, 6'8" Cowboy Dude  was standing next to me (Lisa's friend) but instead of letting the fear inside me out (at what was happening!) I turned to her with an equally cold stare and said, "Oh, No lady, two can play at your game, until I get my passport and visa back, you don't get your house key back either" - and I swept past her (Jim had my case) and left. Once in the truck with Lisa and Jim, I burst into tears!! Lisa took me to her house, and that is where I stayed for my next 'adventure' I went back to SD's house about 3 days later, accompanied by a big burly policeman! The order of business was to get my passport and visa back! The cop knocked on their door and SD finally appeared at the kitchen window and said, "what do you want, I am sick"  The policeman said he had some questions to ask her and could she come to the door? No she said, she was too sick.  So the Cop asked her (through the window) "Do you have this young lady's passport?" SD looked at me with a stare that had daggers in it. And for a minute my insides filled with dread as I thought she was going to say, "I have never seen this woman before in my life" - but instead she said "No I don't have it WITH me here, it's safely locked up in the safe at my office, besides SHE has my house key and she'd not getting her passport till I get my house key" The Cop then said, "Ma'am as a lawyer, I am sure you are aware that it's a felony for you to have her personal documentation without consent, and that it is NOT a felony to be in possession of someone's house key. After all you can easily change the locks if you are so worried about protecting the contents of your house against this young innocent woman. But without her documentation this young lady cannot go or do anything. You really don't want to get dis-barred do you?" He then asked for the address of her office and told her to call them to expect us there in 20 minutes to pick it up. She hemmed and hawed and said that she was the ONLY one that knew the combination (a likely story even if there WAS a safe!) and she as TOO sick to go in. Yeah RIGHT! So the Cop said, "Ok Ma'am, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. In 2 days, this young lady will be at your office at 11am accompanied by either me or another officer to pick up her passport and that's final" Two days later I went to her office, not with an officer but with Jim, the big burly cowboy (to be honest he was FAR more intimidating than the officer!!) SD was NOT there at the office, but a secretary had my passport sitting on top of an INCH thick document that she had been instructed I was to sign before I was allowed to have the passport. HUH? It was a bunch of lawyer mumbo jumbo speak, but it basically said that I was to leave the country within 30 days and was NEVER to come back EVER again. I also checked my passport and the VISA (the most important part really if you are a foreigner in USA) was NOT in it - SD had taken it out. I asked the secretary where the I-94 Visa was that HAD been inside the passport. She had no idea and SD (conveniently on purpose) was out of the office for the rest of the day. So once again, secure in the fact that I had a HUGE cowboy dude who was itching to squash someone through the ground next to me said, "Well I am NOT taking the passport WITHOUT the I-94 as well and I'm NOT signing that either, this is MY property and you have NO right to keep it against my wishes. I will be back tomorrow at the same time, WITH this gentleman AND a police Officer - OK?" Poor girl, she was terrified and it really wasn't her fault, she was just following her boss' (SD) orders, but she nodded, Jim picked up the document and performed his 'phone book trick' by RIPPING it into 2 pieces as easily as if he was ripping up a thin magazine (VERY impressive) he threw it on the floor and out we flounced. The next day Jim and I (plus a cop - a different one, who seemed rather intimidated by Jim himself!) went back again. What a surprise SD was "out of the office" again. No Biggie, I really had no desire EVER to see her again! The Passport AND i-94 visa were there along with an even thicker document and a different tougher looking secretary! I just took the passport, said thank-you, that I wasn't signing anything and we walked out. PHEW! it was over.  It was Feb 1981 - I know this well as my first date with Nils was on Valentine's day, soon after I started living with Lisa. Nils was the boy next door - literally! He lived 2 houses down from Lisa's family and she had grown up on that street with him. I first saw him when he came home early from work having injured his foot and I was cleaning his room (for his Mum - Yes I met Joanie my MIL long before I met Nils as she was one of Lisa's Mum's good friends) for $ (I felt I needed to pay Lisa's Mum something for letting me stay there and I knew my parents were coming soon and then I'd probably end up going home with them. You know if you had asked me then (after cleaning his PIGSTY room, that had clean and dirty clothes strewn all over the place) if I thought I might marry the occupant of this room, I would have said, "You're MAD, he's a SLOB, I'd NEVER marry someone like that" - LOL - God has his own agenda! When I first saw him (as I was leaving their house) I thought, "yeah he's pretty good looking, VERY blond, he definitely looks like a surfer" and I went back to Lisa's. HE on the other hand was smitten already!! He asked his Mum, "WHO was that? " Joanie said I was "an English Nanny who had had to leave her job and needed a bit of money and was living with Lisa for now" Nils was a shy boy! He got his Mum to ring up Sheila (Lisa's Mum) and ask her, "If my son calls Alice up to ask her on a date, will she say Yes? " Sheila asked me and I replied "Tell him to ring himself and find out! " And he did (BIG step for him!) AND I said "Yes" So we went to see, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" - our first date! It was VERY nice, he was sweet, a gentleman, and upon closer inspection Drop-dead gorgeous to look at! This is a photo of him from then (actually from his modeling composite) We kissed good night on the side-walk, with me thinking "yes I think I really like this guy, I might want to stay here after-all and him thinking "this is it, this is the one" The next day my parents arrived in Miami and rang me at SD's SD, as helpful as ever said, "the ungrateful bitch ran away" and hung up on my Mum. As you can imagine my Mum was slightly panicked! Her daughter was somewhere in Florida and she had no way to contact me! It took me a while but I did track them down at their hotel (wasn't sure which one it was) and so they heard I was OK. Lisa drove me to their hotel and then they heard the rest of the story. So I spent a week on Miami Beach with them (I actually had to sleep IN the walk in closet as they BOTH snored  horribly (yes the cures of being a light sleeper hits again!) and we decided that I would stay in America (at Lisa's) until the Summer and then come home and finally go to University etc. After that week, my parents left on their cruise and I did not see them at the end of their visit as when they returned they got straight on a plane and back to England. So they never met Nils until Christmas of 1981 when we both went there. As is obvious by now I DID stay! Nils and I became inseparable (Joanie even moved me OUT of Lisa/Sheila's house into their house!) I told Nils I would stay on one condition, we BOTH went off to school to get a degree. That Christmas we came to UK, so Mum and Dad could meet Nils. Then in Jan 1982 we both went off to Tampa Technical Institute (Computer Engineering Technology AS degree) We graduated in May 1984, got married in Jun 1984 (with a HUGE wedding in UK one year later!) and have now been married for 20 years (and we are going to Hawaii in Oct (WITHOUT the 4 kids!) for 10 days to celebrate. This web page I did for Nils for Valentine's Day this year (2004) - it really sums it all up. And if you got this far I am SO impressed (I am known for being a bit wordy!!) and I'd LOVE to hear from you, so PLEASE sign the guestbook .

                                           So THAT'S How I got to be where I am today.